


Letting Go

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bad Wolf fic, Death, F/M, Hurt, Romance, Tragedy, dark themes, hard choices, sad stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 05:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6182875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor is forced to make one of the hardest decisions of his life. For "sympathy" prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> I will warn, this is sad. Lots and lots of sad stuff and death and more sadness. 
> 
> Have fun!

His senses are overwhelmed by the gut-wrenching screams surrounding him. Left and right, once happy families are engulfed in nothing. No darkness, no light. Nothing. He looks around him, eyes portraying detachment. He’s good at that.

 

“Doctor, please.” Rose is in front of him, huddled on the ground with tears running gold down her cheeks. Her expression is full of anguish as she looks up at him pleadingly. “You’re the only one.”

 

He doesn’t want to look at her, refuses to admit it. He can’t make this choice again and most definitely not concerning  _ her _ . His hearts constricted painfully as he finally met her hopeless eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous.” His whispered tone is harsh and the corners of his eyes grow wet. He just has to block everything out and then they will be okay. It’s only one universe; existence will go on elsewhere. It seems like such a small sacrifice in the big picture, since she is  _ his _ existence. 

 

Rose shakes her head and lets out a sob as she squeezes her eyes shut, closing off the bright glow of her irises. “No, no, no…” He knew her heart was much too big to handle this, but he’ll help. At least as much as he can; after all, he only destroyed his race. She’s about to destroy everything. 

 

But it’s not her fault. It’s Bad Wolf. She can’t help me.

 

“Doctor, please, you have to.  _ Kill me _ . Only you-” she cuts herself off with a scream. It is echoed by others unlucky enough to be within her vicinity. Except him, of course. He’s a Time Lord, after all. 

 

Which is why he’s the only one.

 

He crouches down and pulls her into his arms. He sees the top of her hair grow damp with his tears. “It’ll be alright; you’ll be fine.” He gently rocked her, grasping for as much purchase as possible. 

 

She sobs into his coat and clenches his lapels in her small hands. She pulls away and looks deep into his eyes. “You can’t  _ not _ .” 

 

He shakes his head, his mouth set in a frown. He would rather die than kill her - at least then he wouldn’t have to live with himself. As if it wasn’t hard enough already. 

 

“If it were anyone else, you would have already killed me.” When he goes to open his mouth she places a finger against his lips, voice growing softer. “You already have. Then, it was a whole race. I’m just one person.” She pulls away and when he doesn’t respond her lower lip trembles. “Please, Doctor.” 

 

He feels his lungs stutter with the effort to stop his weeping. He bites his lip hard enough to draw blood. No matter what she says, no matter the stakes, he  _ cannot _ kill her. He loves her too much. 

 

Rose can see this, he knows. She shows it when her eyes cast downward sorrowfully. Absolutely misery overtakes her and he only wants to cuddle her close. Keep her safe, even if it’s from herself. “I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.” 

 

Those words break his resolve. In this horrible living nightmare, he had only been thinking of himself. Not what the implications would do to  _ her _ . After he let them all die and forced the TARDIS to wither away in a parallel world, she would never live again. Yes, she’d be alive, but she wouldn’t be able to  _ live _ . 

 

He loves her too much. 

 

His mind is made up, no matter how badly it hurts. He knows for the rest of his long life he will never heal, but if it gives her peace then he’ll take on that burden willingly. He huddles her against him once again and strokes her hair lovingly. “Close your eyes, love,” he murmurs softly into her ear and then places a lingering kiss on her cheek. He takes a deep breath to prepare himself as well as he can while raising his fingers to her temples. 

 

He can’t hear the screams any longer. They are being replaced with happy chatter, the day to day life sentient beings with linear lives lead. He wants to curse them all, but can’t when he sees the small form smile on Rose’s lips.

 

He closes his eyes as well and lulls her into her last sleep. 


End file.
